What Do I Think Simply About (Ideal) Marriage?
The ideas from my inner child.
When I was around 15, I thought marriage is all about happiness. Disney movies give me a message that we will be happily ever after.
Of course, people around me talked a lot about marriage and they think the good time to settle down used to be when we had a bit of spare money and a decent job. So, in that age, I thought everybody someday will get a good job after graduation, earn some money, have a best partner, and get married.
I used to think as simple as that like everything will be happening in our lives. Of course, by working harder even though I didn’t know exactly how hard that ‘work hard’ is.
When I was thinking about the romantic relationship, I thought that I must be deeply in love with that people so I’m going to decide to get married with that people. I used to have criteria of man that I want to marry with, where now it might be heavily outdated.
Like every girl in this world, I was physically oriented, the ideal husband must be handsome, tall, charming, had a sweet smile and word, and the last thing had a thick eyebrow. So classic.
Anyway, when we talk about marriage and read some articles.
There are some important things that must be prepared by a couple who has a plan to being married.
The first thing is a financial readiness, each couple has to know and discuss who will take the responsibility to pay the outcome and also how much the money must be saved.
The second one is each other’s privacy.
The third one is the family relationships and the last thing is what your partner likes and dislikes. You might be agree or disagree but I think it is quite relevant and realistic — Huffington Post
Now, I am 22, I see marriage is totally in different way when I was at 15, marriage is for those who want to dedicate their lives to building a deeper intimacy with one person.
Marriage can be a wonderful union and expression of love and commitment, be ready there for one person every situation, no matter how easy and difficult it will be going on.
Marriage is where two people are committed to putting each other first and building a life together, building a wonderful future together.
I know I’m a trouble, a mess and maybe my partner’s too. So, how about we will never leave each other? I think marriage is the moment when we realize that we totally, deeply and completely imperfect.
We are maddening in all sorts of ways that make us very hard to deal with and so does our partner. People will lose perspective, will anxious all the time, will regularly difficult to understand, but we prepare for the fact.
Relationship should mean to be an education towards becoming two better people, not a process of acceptance for everything one already is.
Maybe some of us think that being in a relationship always brings out the worst of us. We don’t like being an insecure crybaby, we’re a big problem, life is hard and relationships are harder. So that, we prefer being single.
It would be fine because we are all deeply flawed but remember it should not be a choice to having fun without taking a responsibility of someone’s feeling, I mean we do not take our relationship seriously.
Somebody said to me, that nobody is perfect, yes, but we can still try to spend our time with partners that have developed conflict management skills. As long as we have two willing and dedicated, giving our 100% and that’s all that we can do as humans, right? Yes, I agree, we should fight about this thing, really especially after having children.
We should aware about our children’s preferences, what is their passion, teach them how to deal with life, and etc. I think it is so complicated, I need more discussion and learn about that.
Also, for me, there is no absolutely ideal age to getting married. I do not know precisely when the best time for me to ready to settle down. It will be good, for 22, 25, 28, 30, or even 35.
As long as we are ready to commit and learn together with someone through ups and downs in our whole life. All of us of course want to get married for once and forever, so I think it should not be a quick decision, we should highly consider about it, communicate with the people that we want to married and know them better.
If we talk about marriage and how to choose a partner wisely in romantic side might be we can talk more about the people who we are falling in love with and the one who makes us happy. And the experience of this feeling may not be easily and instantly we will get.
We have to be in a relationship with this person, knowing them better even though we could not choose who the person is. Based on psychologist’s research we can get the conclusion that we do not need to fall in love with people who threaten us in ideal ways but we might be fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways. F
or me, I really fall in love with a man who can respect woman, the man who understand that the marriage is not only the desire of one person who act dominantly of the relationship but it is about two people.
The man who gently lead their family without dominantly enforce the authority.
Well, maybe that’s all my ideal thought about marriage. I know, it is very theoretic, because I have not married yet. I do not know exactly what will happen next.
All I can do is try my best for my current relationship and pray to God for someone that I want to spend my life with. I hope he is doing well, healthy, always happy with everything that he’s doing, about work, study, family, friends, and life.
Thank you for reading my article. I am starting my journey to become a writer and content creator. I hope I will write better and we will grow together through sharing ideas. Visit my blog https://dearmemind.com.
